Privacy
Sometimes I'm asked, "What is the hardest thing about having kids?" Aside from how much money it takes to effectively take care of kids (which really probably has the biggest effect on your lifestyle, which is hard to get used to), I would say the lack of privacy. I think for me this is a little more acute. I work in an office with "cubes", but they aren't actually cubes. They are desks attached to other desks with no walls. Everyone can see me and it is no trouble to hear me. Any conversation I might have on the phone can be unintentionally (or intentionally) heard by, oh... six or seven people. And that's if I keep my voice down, which often requires the person on the other end to say "What, I'm sorry, could you repeat that?", which means I have to say whatever it was a little louder, which very much increases the chances that what I did not want to be heard by anyone other than the person at the other end of the line, will be heard by any or all of one to seven other people.
And I am always aware that I could be in someone's gaze (again, either unintentionally or intentionally). That means any web site I'm looking at, any look of consternation I might have on my face, nose blowing I might require can be seen by any of close to, oh... 40 people.
So, I get home, and, while I'm not potentially being seen by 40 people or listened to by six or seven, I am constantly within ear- or eye-shot of somebody... the whole time I'm home. This includes showers and bath times. I think I thought kids came with some sort of sleep mode function for when you have to go to the can, but that was the only time you could use it. Like there is some sort of "time out" in nature that says when you have to go to the can, the rest of the world can wait.
Things are better. The kids are getting older. My wife and I have a new schedule that seems to be a little more conducive to taking showers, but still. I find myself being a little more uptight because I just feel like I'm constantly in someone's gaze. (Jean Paul Sartre wrote about this in "Being and Nothingness" about how realizing you are in another's gaze suddenly makes you realize your are an actual thing in this world and not really the one conjuring up the world and how this can be stressful.)
Sometimes I'm asked, "What is the hardest thing about having kids?" Aside from how much money it takes to effectively take care of kids (which really probably has the biggest effect on your lifestyle, which is hard to get used to), I would say the lack of privacy. I think for me this is a little more acute. I work in an office with "cubes", but they aren't actually cubes. They are desks attached to other desks with no walls. Everyone can see me and it is no trouble to hear me. Any conversation I might have on the phone can be unintentionally (or intentionally) heard by, oh... six or seven people. And that's if I keep my voice down, which often requires the person on the other end to say "What, I'm sorry, could you repeat that?", which means I have to say whatever it was a little louder, which very much increases the chances that what I did not want to be heard by anyone other than the person at the other end of the line, will be heard by any or all of one to seven other people.
And I am always aware that I could be in someone's gaze (again, either unintentionally or intentionally). That means any web site I'm looking at, any look of consternation I might have on my face, nose blowing I might require can be seen by any of close to, oh... 40 people.
So, I get home, and, while I'm not potentially being seen by 40 people or listened to by six or seven, I am constantly within ear- or eye-shot of somebody... the whole time I'm home. This includes showers and bath times. I think I thought kids came with some sort of sleep mode function for when you have to go to the can, but that was the only time you could use it. Like there is some sort of "time out" in nature that says when you have to go to the can, the rest of the world can wait.
Things are better. The kids are getting older. My wife and I have a new schedule that seems to be a little more conducive to taking showers, but still. I find myself being a little more uptight because I just feel like I'm constantly in someone's gaze. (Jean Paul Sartre wrote about this in "Being and Nothingness" about how realizing you are in another's gaze suddenly makes you realize your are an actual thing in this world and not really the one conjuring up the world and how this can be stressful.)
posted by jotaeme | 8:40 AM
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