On being shitfaced
I had a conversation today with an old friend of mine who's known me since I was a pre-teen. Therefore, we have watched each other since before we started drinking. This is important because we have known each since before we started drinking. We remarked that, for us, drinking is different for us from what it was when we first started drinking. Mainly, drinking was about getting shitfaced. Exactly why that was a goal is something I don't think we figured out. Suffice to say getting shitfaced just wasn't a big deal. You'd sleep late, possibly into the afternoon, wake up, feel bad, eat a cheeseburger, feel better, drink a beer, feel fine. You might get a call from someone saying "Man, you were shitfaced last night." And you'd say, "Yeah, wasn't that cool?" There really were no implications to being shitfaced.
Things gradually changed, though. Eventually, it was O.K. to be "tipsy" at a party... it was even kind of cute, especially if you were "a good drunk". You could be a little more tipsy at a wedding because the drinks were free and it would be rude of you not to partake in the bride's parents’ generosity. It was not, however, O.K. to be shitfaced at a party. The time to be shitfaced was relegated to hanging around a bunch of guys at a ranch where you could pass out in the back of a pick up truck and wake up drenched in sweat to a very bright afternoon sun beating down on you. Guys would pass by you making the occasional "Hey, how 'bout some bacon fat smothered in chocolate syrup?" comment -- anything to make you throw up. And that's something you wish you could do: throw up hard. Sometimes you would, but you wouldn't feel any better. And no cheeseburger could help you now.
As you got older, a hangover would last the whole day. Eventually, even two days. So you'd have to be more particular not just where you got shitfaced, but when you got shitfaced. Sometimes you'd cross the line and get shitfaced when a) you didn't mean to, b) felt like taking a chance, or c) didn't eat the whole day. Of these, c) gradually became the reason you most often became shitfaced and not because you were just drinking for the sake of getting shitfaced. So, in general, getting shitfaced became something to be ignored entirely.
Now, as I approach 40, I hope never to be shitfaced again. And I haven't been in a very long time (relatively). Hangovers, though, still happen. On more than one occasion I've had three hearty meals and then met a friend out for beers. Over the course of three or four hours, I will have three beers. For a while, this was the magic number. Sometimes I would be on my way home after having three beers, but then someone else would show up who had had no beers and I wouldn't want him to drink alone. Now, though, I usually wish him well, and see to it that he hangs around with someone who's had two beers or with someone who's none-the-wiser like I used to be and believes he'll be O.K. with a fourth beer.
Now, even a third beer is cause for consternation: I might wake up feeling fine, I might not. I'm still taking chances and have to ask myself, "Do I have a presentation to give tomorrow?" or "How far am I supposed to run with so-and-so tomorrow?" If I was convinced I had nothing pressing or requiring physical excursion, I was in for a third beer for sure. But, now I have kids, and I have no idea what my next day will be like. They might want to run around a park or something and they might want to do so for 10 minutes or for three hours. I have to be ready for anything. Two beers is becoming the limit.
The point is, drinking is something totally different. I'm not sure what it is now. I know when I get home from a long day at work, I want a beer... sometimes a martini. When I have a nice meal, I want wine. When I'm at a party, I want to loosen up. When I was young, I wanted to have a feeling of euphoria. Now I know that euphoria comes with a price I'm not willing (or, more precisely, able) to pay. And my states of euphoria gradually are, of necessity, being diminished. I'd settle for being able to talk to someone without feeling like I'm boring them.
I had a conversation today with an old friend of mine who's known me since I was a pre-teen. Therefore, we have watched each other since before we started drinking. This is important because we have known each since before we started drinking. We remarked that, for us, drinking is different for us from what it was when we first started drinking. Mainly, drinking was about getting shitfaced. Exactly why that was a goal is something I don't think we figured out. Suffice to say getting shitfaced just wasn't a big deal. You'd sleep late, possibly into the afternoon, wake up, feel bad, eat a cheeseburger, feel better, drink a beer, feel fine. You might get a call from someone saying "Man, you were shitfaced last night." And you'd say, "Yeah, wasn't that cool?" There really were no implications to being shitfaced.
Things gradually changed, though. Eventually, it was O.K. to be "tipsy" at a party... it was even kind of cute, especially if you were "a good drunk". You could be a little more tipsy at a wedding because the drinks were free and it would be rude of you not to partake in the bride's parents’ generosity. It was not, however, O.K. to be shitfaced at a party. The time to be shitfaced was relegated to hanging around a bunch of guys at a ranch where you could pass out in the back of a pick up truck and wake up drenched in sweat to a very bright afternoon sun beating down on you. Guys would pass by you making the occasional "Hey, how 'bout some bacon fat smothered in chocolate syrup?" comment -- anything to make you throw up. And that's something you wish you could do: throw up hard. Sometimes you would, but you wouldn't feel any better. And no cheeseburger could help you now.
As you got older, a hangover would last the whole day. Eventually, even two days. So you'd have to be more particular not just where you got shitfaced, but when you got shitfaced. Sometimes you'd cross the line and get shitfaced when a) you didn't mean to, b) felt like taking a chance, or c) didn't eat the whole day. Of these, c) gradually became the reason you most often became shitfaced and not because you were just drinking for the sake of getting shitfaced. So, in general, getting shitfaced became something to be ignored entirely.
Now, as I approach 40, I hope never to be shitfaced again. And I haven't been in a very long time (relatively). Hangovers, though, still happen. On more than one occasion I've had three hearty meals and then met a friend out for beers. Over the course of three or four hours, I will have three beers. For a while, this was the magic number. Sometimes I would be on my way home after having three beers, but then someone else would show up who had had no beers and I wouldn't want him to drink alone. Now, though, I usually wish him well, and see to it that he hangs around with someone who's had two beers or with someone who's none-the-wiser like I used to be and believes he'll be O.K. with a fourth beer.
Now, even a third beer is cause for consternation: I might wake up feeling fine, I might not. I'm still taking chances and have to ask myself, "Do I have a presentation to give tomorrow?" or "How far am I supposed to run with so-and-so tomorrow?" If I was convinced I had nothing pressing or requiring physical excursion, I was in for a third beer for sure. But, now I have kids, and I have no idea what my next day will be like. They might want to run around a park or something and they might want to do so for 10 minutes or for three hours. I have to be ready for anything. Two beers is becoming the limit.
The point is, drinking is something totally different. I'm not sure what it is now. I know when I get home from a long day at work, I want a beer... sometimes a martini. When I have a nice meal, I want wine. When I'm at a party, I want to loosen up. When I was young, I wanted to have a feeling of euphoria. Now I know that euphoria comes with a price I'm not willing (or, more precisely, able) to pay. And my states of euphoria gradually are, of necessity, being diminished. I'd settle for being able to talk to someone without feeling like I'm boring them.
posted by jotaeme | 10:31 AM
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