What's up with this blog?
So, I haven't really done much on this blog. Like many things, you start off with nifty intentions, ideas of what it's going to be like, and aspirations that something like this will enhance your life. None of that has really happened. My first post, a deeply personal post, really didn't garner much attention. Frankly, I was dissapointed. The only person that responded was my mother. She did so in her quite eloquent way, but in a private e-mail message. My second post likewise received no comments or feedback. Again I was dissapointed.
At this point I asked myself, what was I expecting from starting this blog? I'm still asking myself that question. I think the answer is coming to me now. I was hoping this blog would spur me to write. I used to write for a living, first as a reporter for a small daily, then as an editor of a small computer magazine, then as a technical writer. (I still am, technically, a technical writer though I don't write any more and haven't for a few years.) But it hasn't and writing doesn't come easy to me any more. It's odd because I can remember writing concert and album reviews, along with front-page articles about proposed changes to a municipality's trash pick-up operations and city budgets. I'd write short stories and short screenplays for short films after writing articles about Sun Microsystems' latest incarnation of the Sparc chip. I'd write comic pieces for a short-lived, limited-printing, self-funded magazine. In short, I used to write a lot and it used to be very much a part of who I was.
So why hasn't this blog spurred me to write? I think that's the real question. I'm not sure of that either. I've been playing a lot of music lately (which is another passion of mine, but you wouldn't know it from this blog), but I'm not sure that's really eaten into blog time. I don't think I could use "lack of time" as an excuse. I haven't made writing a priority, and I was expecting to.
I think, eventually, I came to see myself as not a "good" writer. I'm not saying I'm a bad writer, but I think that a) I don't have the technical skills to "make a story come to life", b) even though I think I have some keen insights, I am constantly awed by the keen insights of other people that makes my insights look totally assailable, and c) I have a limited imagination. I think this last one is the main deal. I began to realize that art I really appreciated usually was done by people who just did thinks totally differently. The modal playing of Miles Davis, the paintings of Picasso, the writings of Tom Robbins. They think in ways that I just couldn’t even if I had their technical skills and all the time in the world. It’s quite humbling. And as I’ve grown to appreciate these things, it has diminished my “joy” in writing.
So, what now? Well, like I said, I’ve been playing music more, but I’m not breaking any new ground. I’m playing bass (an easy instrument to play) in country bands (an easy music to play). I no longer have the idea that I’m going to be part of “the next big thing”. So, I think this takes away some of the passion, but adds back a lot of the fun.
And maybe I should take a lesson from that. Maybe I should start writing again. Maybe I will.
So, I haven't really done much on this blog. Like many things, you start off with nifty intentions, ideas of what it's going to be like, and aspirations that something like this will enhance your life. None of that has really happened. My first post, a deeply personal post, really didn't garner much attention. Frankly, I was dissapointed. The only person that responded was my mother. She did so in her quite eloquent way, but in a private e-mail message. My second post likewise received no comments or feedback. Again I was dissapointed.
At this point I asked myself, what was I expecting from starting this blog? I'm still asking myself that question. I think the answer is coming to me now. I was hoping this blog would spur me to write. I used to write for a living, first as a reporter for a small daily, then as an editor of a small computer magazine, then as a technical writer. (I still am, technically, a technical writer though I don't write any more and haven't for a few years.) But it hasn't and writing doesn't come easy to me any more. It's odd because I can remember writing concert and album reviews, along with front-page articles about proposed changes to a municipality's trash pick-up operations and city budgets. I'd write short stories and short screenplays for short films after writing articles about Sun Microsystems' latest incarnation of the Sparc chip. I'd write comic pieces for a short-lived, limited-printing, self-funded magazine. In short, I used to write a lot and it used to be very much a part of who I was.
So why hasn't this blog spurred me to write? I think that's the real question. I'm not sure of that either. I've been playing a lot of music lately (which is another passion of mine, but you wouldn't know it from this blog), but I'm not sure that's really eaten into blog time. I don't think I could use "lack of time" as an excuse. I haven't made writing a priority, and I was expecting to.
I think, eventually, I came to see myself as not a "good" writer. I'm not saying I'm a bad writer, but I think that a) I don't have the technical skills to "make a story come to life", b) even though I think I have some keen insights, I am constantly awed by the keen insights of other people that makes my insights look totally assailable, and c) I have a limited imagination. I think this last one is the main deal. I began to realize that art I really appreciated usually was done by people who just did thinks totally differently. The modal playing of Miles Davis, the paintings of Picasso, the writings of Tom Robbins. They think in ways that I just couldn’t even if I had their technical skills and all the time in the world. It’s quite humbling. And as I’ve grown to appreciate these things, it has diminished my “joy” in writing.
So, what now? Well, like I said, I’ve been playing music more, but I’m not breaking any new ground. I’m playing bass (an easy instrument to play) in country bands (an easy music to play). I no longer have the idea that I’m going to be part of “the next big thing”. So, I think this takes away some of the passion, but adds back a lot of the fun.
And maybe I should take a lesson from that. Maybe I should start writing again. Maybe I will.
posted by jotaeme | 10:05 AM
1 Comments:
I say find your creative outlet and go with it. Maybe it's writing words - music reviews, movie reviews, articles, fiction. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's writing music. Maybe it's arranging and rearranging music. Maybe it's creating fabulously funky (albeit "easy") baselines to fabulously "easy" C&W tunes. So what if it is. Create.
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